Bacon and Beer, Not Bacon AND beer

I love bacon; grew up on it in fact. Aside from my Dad’s occasional weekend breakfast masterpieces, I remember my sister and I cooking bacon after school to eat as a snack every now and then. Go ahead, get it out of your system and insert fat joke here. As I was saying, Bacon has some inherent qualities; salty, smoky, greasy and crispy. Take away any one of those and it’s just not bacon. Don’t believe me, try eating a piece of non-crispy bacon. It’s like a chewy pork noodle, and that ain’t right people. Chewy pork noodle is opening for Taylor Swift by the way. Maybe not. As I was saying, it’s my opinion, nay LAW, that bacon must retain these 4 characteristics to be BACON. So what’s my point you ask? Simple, the bacon and (insert anything here) fad needs to stop NOW. It’s gone on long enough. I’ve been given bacon gum, bacon chocolate bars, bacon infused vodka, even made bacon chocolate chip cookies myself; and now I’ve had a bacon beer. None of them are what they should be, even my own cookies. I opened a bottle of beer this afternoon under the pressure of designated wife/driver Staci. She wanted to try it, and even though I knew what was coming, I did as I was told. I’m a good husband if nothing else.
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