Bacon and Beer, Not Bacon AND beer

I love bacon; grew up on it in fact. Aside from my Dad’s occasional weekend breakfast masterpieces, I remember my sister and I cooking bacon after school to eat as a snack every now and then. Go ahead, get it out of your system and insert fat joke here. As I was saying, Bacon has some inherent qualities; salty, smoky, greasy and crispy. Take away any one of those and it’s just not bacon. Don’t believe me, try eating a piece of non-crispy bacon. It’s like a chewy pork noodle, and that ain’t right people. Chewy pork noodle is opening for Taylor Swift by the way. Maybe not. As I was saying, it’s my opinion, nay LAW, that bacon must retain these 4 characteristics to be BACON. So what’s my point you ask? Simple, the bacon and (insert anything here) fad needs to stop NOW. It’s gone on long enough. I’ve been given bacon gum, bacon chocolate bars, bacon infused vodka, even made bacon chocolate chip cookies myself; and now I’ve had a bacon beer. None of them are what they should be, even my own cookies. I opened a bottle of beer this afternoon under the pressure of designated wife/driver Staci. She wanted to try it, and even though I knew what was coming, I did as I was told. I’m a good husband if nothing else.

The beer is the Rogue/Voodoo Doughnut bacon maple ale. It’s a beautiful bottle; all pink like a pig and with a great New Orleans style voodoo witch doctor on it. I think the pink bottle is what got her. Oh you marketing geniuses @ Rogue, so sly and unassuming. I first had this @ the OC Brewhaha this year, and it didn’t end well, hence my hesitation. As expected, the nose is smoky and sweet, full of maple syrup. Also as expected, the taste is similar; smoky and sweet, but not of bacon. As I said before, I came into this with an already formed opinion, so I asked the non-drinking wife what she thinks. “It tastes like something that sat next to a campfire all night, not refreshing, not good”. I couldn’t have said it better myself. I like smokey stuff; use a smoker when I grill actually.  Love a bit of smoke in whiskey, even a smoked porter on occasion. This beer however, just doesn’t do it for me. So I ask one last time people, please stop with bacon and (everything). It can be enjoyed with beer, but not WITH beer. One bottle cap for the purty bottle at the behest of my purty wife.



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